*I read somewhere na mayroon ng Quarter-Life Crisis* akalain mo yun? XD

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Undergoing Mid-life crisis at 23

I was watching Oprah one night, and the topic was mid-life crisis whatever, and they featured women who were undergoing that stage, the guests talked about realizing their true career, their true passion, what they really want to do for the rest of their life - so they quit their jobs (the one they were doing for almost 10-20 years) and started to walk the path towards fulfillment, peace and joy. They followed their passion. And there was no turning back.

They say, people in their 50's (mid-life stage) often have this crisis, of questioning and doubts on things that they are doing, maybe because of unfulfilling careers, or maybe average experiences. When you have reached a stage in life where it seems that you are closer and closer to... death, you realize the things that you Really want to do in this life, you Ask for Real Directions, you Talk to God more often, and you follow that Still Small Voice ever whispering in your heart.

I'm just 23. And I'm experiencing mid-life crisis, and I think a lot of us [in their fifties or not] do.

But you know what the beautiful thing about mid-life crisis is? It's what comes after it...
Mid-life revelations, realizations and awakenings.

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Career Shift

[Journal Entry]
Aug 15, 2008

what i REALLY want to be; meaning what i want to do for the rest of my life...

- to serve God fully, wholly, and sincerely
- to have my own business/es, and give jobs.
- to express myself creatively and sincerely (in writing, drawing/painting, taking photographs)
- to help and comfort others who were abused and abandoned
- to learn how to play one musical instrument with proficiency (Piano), and teach it to others willing to learn
- to support the Filipino inventors (become a sponsor of inventions and/or inventors)

i want to serve God in all aspects, at all times, at any given time. at magagawa ko yun outside the corporate (and for my case, construction) world, and outside the constricting walls of an office.

kaya naisipan kong maging entrep (bilang sideline, para may funds ako to do His Work. yeye. ;D)... i remember nung grade 6, right after grad yun (the night of the graduation day, after the commencement exercises and all), i was propped down on the floor holding a pen and in front of me was a notebook, i wrote what i wanted to have or to be... I wrote: "i want to be a businesswoman, and start businesses on the things that interest me; in art, in music, in food, in fashion." ayun. ngayon ko lang talaga napagtanto na minsan (o mas madalas pa nga), mas alam natin ang gusto nating marating o maging, nung elementarya pa lang tayo, kaysa nung highschool o college na tayo. kasi yung utak natin, yung puso natin; payak pa, hindi pa nadudungisan ng kamunduhan, ng inggit, ng 'greed'.

nung highschool parang nabulagan ako, biglaan lang yung pagkuha ko ng architecture, (4th year ko lang yata napusuang kunin ang kursong yun), madalas kasi akong nakakanuod ng lifestyle shows na nagpapakita ng architecture and interior design projects, makeovers at kung anu-ano pa. at tsaka gusto ko kasi kakaiba yung kukunin kong kurso. kaya ayun. e medyo marunong naman akong magdrawing, at trip ko naman din yung drafting class nung 3rd year highschool kami. kaya sinubukan ko, pumasa naman ako sa test (entrance at drawing test)... pero nung sinimulan ko nang mag-aral ng arkitektura, nalaman at nadama ko na parang dehins ito ang trip kong gawin forever and ever. kaya sa loob ng ilang taon, madalas, pilit lahat. naging masaya lang ako, kasi marami akong naging kaibigan na dumaan din sa kaparehong stage (doubt and regret sa piniling kurso), at yung karamihan naman sa kanila nalagpasan yung stage na yun. ako, hindi ko nalampasan. i still yearn for that one thing na gustong-gusto kong gawin hanggang mamatay na ako. to become full-time sa ministry. (hehe.) pero siyempre, kailangan ko ng pera para mapunuan yung kakailanganin ng ministry/ministries na i'm involved in...

kaya.... naisipan kong  mag-negosyo. nasa dugo ko yata kasi ang pagiging negosyante. all thanks to my lolo (yung cool and weird lolo ko na miyembro ng Rosicrucian at frustrated agriculturist)...

nadarama kong sa pagnenegosyo ako nalilinya, kasi kahit hindi ko iniisip, maraming bagong ideya ang pumapasok (o lumalabas?) sa utak ko. maraming konsepto ng mga negosyo at produkto... sa pag-aarki kasi, wala yung extra oooomph. oo, nagagawa ko ng maayos yung dapat kong gawin. it's an OK output... pero there's something missing e, walang spark kumbaga. kaya hindi ako nasa-satisfy. hindi ako makuntento. kaya feeling ko dapat perfect yung gawa ko, kasi everytime na gagawa ako ng plano, ng elevation, ng site development, parang laging may kulang, laging may mali.

basta ang masasabi ko lang. hindi ko makokonsidera na matagumpay ako sa buhay kapag natapos ko ang kursong arkitektura at maging isa akong lisensyadong arkitekto, dahil masasabi ko lamang na matagumpay ako at content (career wise) kapag nagkaroon na ako ng sarili kong negosyo, at kumita sa negosyong yun, para makatulong sa iba na umasenso sa buhay, at para na rin maiangat ang dangal at pangarap ng mga Pilipino, at makatulong sa funding ng charities and ministries.

kailangan ko ng PUHUNAN!!!!!!!!!!!
dang.

(marami ang nagsasabi na ang pagnenegosyo, hindi yan one time, big time agad. may oras na lugi ka sa isang certain na negosyo.. e di mag-isip ng panibagong produkto o serbisyo. napakaraming mga pagkakataon at oportunidad para gumawa ng bagong negosyo; o kaya i-redesign at i-update ang lumang negosyo... basta ang alam ko lang, hindi man maging malakas agad ang negosyo ko. go pa rin! basta, start small. finish big.)

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Arkitekto - tali sa trabaho. tali sa bossing (except na lang kung BIGTIME ARKITEKTO ka, at ikaw ang bossing). tali ang oras. laging puyat. fixed ang kita (10-15% ng whole project cost). minsan nasa opisina, minsan nasa site/field, minsan ka-lunchdate ang cliente. employee (average arkitekto), employer (Bigtime arkitekto).

Negosyante - hawak ang oras. boss at empleyado ang sarili. maraming pwedeng gawin. walang office hours. pwedeng walang kita (dahil walang benta), pwede ring subra-subra ang kita (dahil mabenta) - at depende na lang sa diskarte kung paano mo mababalanse yung araw na maraming benta at walang benta para tumubo pa rin ang puhunan mo. minsan nasa opisina, minsan nasa bahay, minsan nag-scout ng bagong ideya sa ibang bansa o lugar, minsan may ka-lunchdate na cliente o distributor o manufacturer. Employee & Employer (bigtime man o average negosyante lang.)

tinimbang ko. oks ang pagiging arkitekto, kasi hindi siya yung usual 8-5 job. marami ding ginagawa, may variety kumbaga, at may pagkakataon for growth and development as an individual. at naniniwala naman akong isang noble job ang pag-aarki (kaya ko nga kinuha e)... Pero mas matimbang pa din ang pagiging negosyante para sa akin. kasi gusto kong mag-aral ng maraming bagay at matuto ng iba't ibang bagay, at maging intimate sa mga bagay na mayron akong interes tulad ng musika, sining, pagkain, at pananamit; at dahil minimithi ko ring maging 'full-time' churchworker... at magagawa ko lang yun sa labas ng apat na sulok ng (corporate, architectural, construction) office at sa labas ng structured work ng pag-aarkitekto.

so...... Go Negosyo it is!